funny is what I like

funny is what I like This is one funny is what I like and a great advantage. I want to share with everyone, especially you can enter my website. I was so amused, and if you read you will like me entertained and laughing. This is funny that can comfort our hearts and our lives will be happier. hope you can read it because I like to share with you all. thanks Red Tomatoes A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen,"What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?" The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden naked in my trench coat and flash them. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much." Well, the woman was so impressed; she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice a day for two weeks she flashed her garden hoping for the best. One day the gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?" "No", she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous." Business Decision A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, 'What are you doing?' She answers, 'I'm moving to Nevada . I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free.' Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom & sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's going, he replies, 'I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800 a year. Coincidence A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too! " "What a coincidence," he said, "This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating." "This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!," says the woman. "What a coincidence," says the man. As they clinked glasses he asked, "What are you celebrating?" "My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!" "What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs." "That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?" "I switched cocks," he replied. She smiled and said, "What a coincidence!" Attitude A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband -- who was a big burly man -- tossed his trousers to his bride and said, "Here, put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I cant wear your trousers," she said. "That's right, said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family." With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. "Hell," he said. I cant get into your panties!" She replied, "That's right, and that's the way its going to stay until your attitude changes."  Experimental Pill A lady goes to the doctor and complains her husband is losing interest in sex. He gives her a pill but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it in his mashed potatoes at dinner. At dinner that night, she does just that. About a week later she's back at the doctor and tells him, "The pill worked great! I put it in his mashed potatoes like you said. It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, pushed all the food and dishes to the floor, grabbed me, ripped off all my clothes and ravaged me right there on the table." The doctor says, "Oh dear -- I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill was that strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." The lady replied, "That's very kind - but I don't think the restaurant will let us back in anyway." Small World Two men were out playing golf on a nice Saturday afternoon. They were getting frustrated, though, because the two women who were playing right in front of them were quite slow, and were holding up the men's game. "Don't they know their supposed to let us play through?!" asked the first man. The other man shook his head. "I'm going to go ask them if we can play through," said the first man, emphatically, "Enough is enough!" He started walking over toward the women, but as he got close, he suddenly turned around and came back, white as a ghost. "Oh God," he said to his friend, "This is awful. You're going to have to ask those women if we can play through. You see, one of them is my wife, and the other is my mistress!" The other man shrugged, and said "No sweat." He walked over toward the women, and just as he was getting close, turned around and came running back to his pal. His eyes wide open, he said - "Small world isn't it!" Pregnancy Advice A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea 'Do you enjoy it?' The doctor asked. 'Actually, yes, I do.' 'Does it hurt you?' he asked. 'No. I rather like it.' 'Well, then,' the doctor continued, 'there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.' The woman was mystified. 'What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?' 'Of course,' the doctor replied. 'Where do you think politicians come from? Rules Are Rules   Typical macho man married a typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?" His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."